I don't know why. I still get miserable sometimes. But it has been getting better, by God it has. I'm overally way happier than I was in the previous months. Its all hard to believe though. I guess I have a feeling in the back of my head that things should be bad, else I will be liable to a sudden collapse in fortunes.

That being said. There really is not much I need. Unlike many, I have no special longings for material objects and the superficial wealth they provide. Decent comfort, but most importantly the ability to pursue my thoughts is all I require. I'd like a dog someday. I think I'd like to live in a peaceful cottage, in the middle of nowhere. A queer ambition in this day and age. Don't know if even I prescribe to it. But its a nice image. Especially as a reward for a few decades of dynamism.

Went dress shopping at Marshall's and TJ Max. Utterly saddening affair. I just feel like such a monster. I hate looking like a fucking freak. Like a fucking curiosity. Who's that weird fag over at the women's section? Though of course I'm exaggerating. Lakeview! For God's sake no one gives a shit one way or another as long as you leave them alone.
I'm my own Jesse Helms. Yea, I guess I have that internalized transphobia or homophobia or whatever. Well mostly transphobia. Why the fuck can't I be happy being a gay boy? Why all this shit? Transition if it is anything is a lot of work. I'll admit I'm just languid. What do I do all day? I'm far too weak physically to be of any use at all. Not to mention mentally and morally. I mean I have no fucking sexual identity even! Who the fuck am I?
Well I resolved to be celibate till I transition more. I realized that gay sex (when I'm in it) completely disgusts me. Yes I finally allowed myself to admit this! And yea (my last relationship was with a girl actually) I am completely awkward being with a woman at this point. Though I love girls! Yes I have to transition to function sexually but why, why why? Why all this?

So this was just a mindless and pointless rant. I suppose its better than doing nothing. Why am I posting this online? Isn't this stupid?

So perhaps the ancient Maya had a thing going on. They did predict Cortez's invasion after all. So now we have their prediction about Dec 21 2012 so yep... 4 years left. Is it that implausible? Our financial system is in the process of unraveling, Russia is getting more and more rogue, the whole Muslim world might turn to flames, Europe has that demographic problem.

So yea... this motherfucker might burn. But it might not. Maybe 2012 will even lead us to a new Golden Age. I don't know... but I will commit to living these 4 years to the maximum fullfillment.

I must take risks. I have to put myself out there. Otherwise I stagnate and there is nothing more disgusting than stagnating life. Life is only beautiful when it thrusts itself upon the cosmos, when it defies entropy. Otherwise its just rot, its just shit.

So anyway much has changed since my last post. I just had orientation at UIC. It feels so good to finally be going back to school.

Had a really bad argument with my dad recently because of my transgender identity. Epic. He doesn't have the heart to disown me as I'm all he has though, but I'm no doubt pushing him to. Its so strange. He is so pissed at me being trans... more pissed than if I got into smack or if I joined a cult. Oh well, I won't be needing him. I'm in school now, got my schedule and I am working my ass of for that fucken 4.0 and getting scholarships. I am motivated right now, thank God for that.

I'm gonna start hormones on January 22. Finally! After just over a year of being out I'm finally acting on my needs.

So I know take my voyage toward the future, with a measure of deliberation but with the cultivation of my animal spirits.

I seriously am. Its all just shallow entertainment and partying. Socializing, Socialization, blah, blah... Leaves my mouth with a saccarine bitter taste. Fuck that!
I am seriously considering living out in the woods or something. Studying Nature... the Quran... the Upanishads and the Bible. Reflecting on how messy and foolish society is.

Yea...

So I'm back on this LJ thing. anyone missed me?

Its good to have a place to rant and rave... publicly in a private way. How private? I don't know. Maybe I really should delete some stuff for safety's sake.

So alot has changed since last posting. Left my College. Now I'm a cast member on this play combating abstinence only sex education. Actress and activist, yes sir! I get my script tommorow! That has got me pretty excited.

Other than that... I've been trying to find jobs, but haven't. I worked for a day for a cargo handling buisiness out of O'hare... that was a NIGHT OF HELL. Phew! but I should eventually stop living off my parents' generosity, especially as my father, the primary supporter doesn't support my transition. I really have to stop being a bum... but whats the alternative? I don't want to enter the corporate world, but academia sucks too. Sometimes the military seems really attractive, if only because it is a job I just entere inot that takes up my whole life when i do it. and doesn't even require any self pondering. Ah well...

So anyway... I'm back. Will probably work on this thing more regularly now.

Car sufing on a Saudi Highway. That's what I'd love to do. Saw this completely sickening video where these young Arab heirs were hanging from a car and surfing on the road! Skating, man, they were fucking skating on their sandals and shit! Damn that looks fucking fun, I'll tell you what.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJupNDIKkEk

that's what I've been lately, just restless and jumpy. Really excited about going to C-bus tommorow and meeting folks from the forum. Never really been in that kind of situation before.

I'm also restless cuz now I'm just so aware of my shortcomings with regards to being a girl. It gets so difficult to walk outside and seeing beautiful girls who I'm just so jealous of. I know transition can do a lot of seen it, but I REALLY HATE MY FEET. Gah... like I just wanna wear some cute flats but no... I just feel like I could never be graceful either, cuz I was like always clumsy and I still remain so in many ways. As a kid I was clumsy... blah, I got some kind of motor skill issues.

Anyway though things really can't and shouldn't be going better so inspite of that middle paragraph of complaints, I have to reitirate things are going SICKENING (meaning very good). I just hope there won't be too many obstacles, I'm gettin some of dem monnzzz as soon as I can! Pretty much right when I hit chi-town I will, you'll see.

Common complaint is about Sexual side effects. The most dreaded sexual side effect is a repressed sex drive, not the reverse.

I'll say right now though, I would probably love to take an anti-viagra, a sexual depressent. Sexuality is my enemy. I liked that about the ADD meds back when I took them, that they shrank my superclit and aside from the stimulation I got to toward the use of higher-faculties, I wasn't weighed down and sabotaged by the movements of concupiscence. This effect alone makes the amphetamines superior to caffiene.

I'm barely on any drug right now. Drank an Amp about 5-6 hours ago. Nothing really but me and Interpol and the computer screen's radiation. I'm not feeling horny right now, that's good. Orchie, that sounds really good now.

Later Edit:
Oh Shit! Maybe I should watch out b4 I disintegrate into a bunch of Jekylls and Hydes. A part of me is deeply sexual and has a pure delight in the libido, of achieving ever better orgasms and of touching and smelling and feeling and conquering and being conquered. Hmm... maybe that's something the big T will do for me, end the conflict, and allow me to unambiguosly enjoy my sexuality.

I have some down time on my hands and I'm at a sort of fulcrum/cross-road point.

Staying up all night, to shift the thoughts. Good to do sometimes, probably safer than smoking a bowl. A priority is making a good exit out of this place that's been my home for over a year and a half. Have to say my good-byes, have some quality last conversations. God, I really will miss the people that I got to know down here at Muohio. The friends, and the acquaintances, hell i'll even miss the guy that pushed me down the stairs last year after he thought I was hitting on the fiance. (which was funny, because that was when I tried really hard to be a gay guy).

Nostalgia has resounded thematically through my consciousness, high-school and even earlier. I have a strong drive to tie up loose ends and rediscover what was forgotten. I love my experiences, I love going to different places and accumulating strange experiences. I am proud of my long-term memory.

I'm going back to Chi-town in large part to transition. Transitioning is actually the biggest motivation in my life for better or worse. Also hoping to come closer to figure out what I was put on Earth to do but transitioning is the one concrete and possible end that I can orient my being toward, the only one.

We die with each new experience. Drastically changing one's life circumstances is a violent act. I'm working hard to set everything straight. I accept that I have no real choice other than to keep on living, and no stronger drive than to live authentically. So off I go.

Culture? Society?

Infamies to smashed. Masters to be appeased slavishly. Choose your destination.


Arda warms. A certainty renews in me, an optimism. Emerging from my foul pit after the passing of noon, I am rewarded by a coolingly strong wind and a warmly weak sun. Clouds above, rain is approaching but now it doesn't matter. Better than the slushy infernal shit that plagued my outdoor for so long.

My breakfast? Mexicalia Torte and Spanish Rice, different. Good. Arnold Palmer, hell yea. New York Times: Same old shits. Happy.

Came out and kept walking, took the rape walk. ended up at the library for good or bad. Met an old high-school friend unplanned. Don't know whether that's good or bad.

My last times at this school. I know. Have to enter the unknown. A good bye in all my deeds and communications toward others. Towards comrades, enemies and those indifferent.

My pitiful and pathetic father. I don't know what is gonna happen to him. He's in trouble, what if he commits suicide because of my Slaaneshi actions? Poor fool. My sin, the problem. Is I really do want to go my own way, Ironically enough that's what he wants for me as well. Maybe degraded, or maybe always of a low-grade, he simply knows not what I do. He knows not anything. He has neither read from the book of the world nor even much of the book of the giants of the past. I am like the cruel young tree that steals its taller parent's nutrients and soon overtakes its place in the sun, watching pitifully at the cruelty it had to commit simply to seize its own sun.

Life is cruel in essence, it is death turned evil. Life grows from casting off dead and old things. Ergo April is the cruelest month.

First of all: thanks Siduri, yea it is always great to practice mindfulness.

I am getting out of those unpredictable lulls, hopefully permaently this time. I know this, I'm just gonna have to take a break out of school. Maybe its bad that I got to this situation but that's where it stands now and I'll deal with it.

I know there is a lot of shit on my mind dealing with past, present, future, and the atemporal. I have to not let my consciousness divide itself so much. Simplicity.

There is quite a lot I want to do and experience in life. My needs and drives are competing and annihilate each other it seems, but that does not have to be true. (Ie: I want to travel around the world and just work a simple job like teaching English in some far away country, but at the same time I need to transition.) Some big competing drives, I have to take a step back and discern.

I can't worry so much about every little personal detail, I can't worry so much about petty social foibles, I can't worry so much about so-and-so not liking me. I can't place too much stock in some magical experience from an event.

I'll keep doing what I do best, teaching myself from books. I will seriously undertake learning mathematics finnally, calculus and logic in particular. I'll take a book and study it like that, at my time, no pressure, no tests. It's unfair I've been cheated of a whole realm of knowledge and beauty. Time to rectify that.

I don't much believe in New Year's resolutions or any sort of sudden change and determination to change something. The most powerful decisions in my life have been spur of the moment, like hell writing in a journal consistently is something I didn't premeditate. The fact is, life circumstances have changed and I need to adapt. I'll continue the best of my habits and just cold-turkey away some of the bad ones.

Now can finally be my chance to begin life proper, on my own terms. If anything this can be an occasion for joy.

so yea... that's my whole fucking problem! I'm just vague, vague about everything. Not even I can make heads or tails out of what goes through that mystifying little brain of mine most of the time. There is just so much non-sense in my head. Gah! This charade is so loathsome...

Meh, another cliche as my title. But really, its all just so fucking pointless. I can't really see a good reason to not positively prefer death. To not positively favor nonexistence over existence.

I know I can't shut my miserable carcass down and extinguish my parody of a soul, because other people exist, some of whom would be distressed somewhat. Plus my mother always raised me to not leave a mess I couldn't clean up, so I won't. But God, I wish there was just a way to end this boring comedy without it being messy.

Went through another human nature class today. Discussing the Bodies Exhibit: an exhibit of unclaimed corpses from the People's Republic of China. Unclaimed, yea, what the fuck does that mean? It certainly ain't good, as the PRC is up to some really shady shit. So you have a bunch of college kids, most of them privleged and sheltered suburban dwellers, arguing over some pointless posturings over something that really is quite fierce and gruesome and real. Worst is academics, like the prof E.M., who posture about the Other and someother such fanciful theological terms like a bunch of capons. Eh! Sickening.

So yea... returning to what I should be talking about. Kate Bornstein, her new book is quite good. Writing this post I guess I'm following an instruction from her, definitely by spirit if not by letter. I don't know though, am I really worthy to live, is the world improved by my presence? Eh, I can't escape the feeling now that it would be the best if I was never born. It comes down to the nagging fact that I have nothing at all to contribute. That I really am just a waste of matter. I mean look, I can't create anything beautiful. The only publishing I've done so far as an adult are just ugly and pointless and senseless rants on this Livejournal thing. I have no significantly good talents that I can live from. The one thing I earn praise for is intelligence. But no, I'm not intelligent at all. I only know that I know so little. I only know the bare minimum that the quest to know is insatiable, and that I myself am highly hindred by material and social factors beyond my control. I have a frivolous cunning. Frivolous, because it doesn't actually preserve my life, and in the end gets me in trouble.

So no, I will honestly say I am not suicidal out of transphobia. Fuck no! I'm just not good enough. I'm too much of a contradiction, I'm a failed assemblage of matter or a failed creation (pick your worldview). There are some really rockin people out there who happen to be all matter of things including Trans or whatever. But I'm really not one of them. Yea I read a lot of posts recently on this forum from some people who felt suicidal because they were really miserable about transitioning. It is part of my depression, I can't deny. But I'm just aware of my inferiority and inadadequacy in different and more scary ways. I have no right to have pretensions to greatness or even significance. I'm just a fucking joke.

My life is a farce. A joke, a bad one at that. I love to learn, I seek the great things yet I am too small to do any of that. I am nothing, just a speck of dust, a clot of blood, a puff of smoke. There's some wonderfully beautiful shit in this universe, and that's cool. So I guess I just accumulate aesthetic experiences. But I'm so limited by material factors, and I'm just a piece of shit, so there's really just more and more misery.

Moral of the story: I really fucking hate myself.

is the condition of the spiritually inferior having power over the spiritually superior. Whether by force of money or arms, whether carried out gently and with persuasion or with naked brutality and violence; this phenomenon is a bitter fact encountering the human condition.
Never is this horrible fact more manifest than in a father, in any kind of father, anyone with pretense to that station. This fact (for thats what it is, an incontrovertible reality) is horrible for it induces both terror and nausea. Terror in being a refutation and block to all that is beautiful and overcoming in the human, and nausea just by being sickening and so trivial.
A dear friend of mine is suffering the position of a spiritual superior held down by a manifestly inferior father. I have rocky relationship with this friend, recently spurred on because as that friends bad conscience I am stirred by the contradictory warping of reality this situation induced in hir.

Eh fuck it! I'll just go straight out, say this direct in slang and in plain language. Him (i will not mention any more names) is really fucken me up! I can't fucken stand it! What i detest most in Him is that He does not know how to hate or to love, how to condemn or praise, how to live or die. He is an utter failure at everything and represents everything i resoulotely refuse to do or be. He is pathetic, concerned with stupid surface things. Like making sure I wear a coat, that I "dress up" that I brush my teeth that I eat that i not work too much. Hey you fucken idiot! I'm a fuckin FAGGOT and a fuckin TRANNY u understand... Do you fucken understand!!! IF YOUR A HOMOPHOBE THEN BE A FUCKEN HOMOPHOBE. DON'T U DARE PITY ME! I PITY U! U DESERVE MY PITY U FUCKING FAILURE! U DISSAPOINTER, U PETTY OLD SENILE FOOL, SENILE FROM THE CRADLE.

I have so much guilt because of this... as I should its only natural. I'm not John Wayne Gacy, or Hitler, or Jeffery Dahlmer, or Sigmund Freud, or whoeverthefuck. I have a bad conscience. I know He loves me. But its not a love I can value because its so degraded by petty and cheap things. The scary thing is we really do have a lot in common. I can't but accept that my deep desire to transition is somehow helped and influenced by an acidic spitefulness to excorcise Him away from me.

What I hate most is how pathetic he is, and how pathetic I am that I am in a position of dependence in spite of how pathetic he is. As I wrote above, he doesn't even know how to be a good Queerphobe. Every idiot knows if your a fag, your a fag! What the hell do I have to hammer into that iron skull!

This is why now, I'm sabotaging myself. I have to escape. Any fate is better than what I have had to increasingly endure the past couple of years. I will have to travel a very bumpy road in the middle of the night. I will have to hitchhike. BUT I HAVE TO. TO SURVIVE. SO I DONT GET TYRANIZED BY THE FOOL. i have to take on risks, burn bridges and ships, finnally have will. I have to prove I AM WHO I AM.

There are a lot of tears shed, there is a lot of acrimonious dispute, over ethics. Ethics encompassing both individual and collective action, over the political as well as the personal.

There is a shout among those who generally consider themselves Conservative to Return! Some say the Bible, some Plato, some Kant... some any combination in between. The core message remains Return!

Then the liberals or Radicals or the Posts. Well, they say fuck it all, shit on it! its all relative man! In comes an aversion and a negation. A fear of the big and a constant desire to shit on anything.

Both forms of Ethical thought are bound, can only be bound, to catastrophic failure. There is a tendency to either restore the West to its greatness or a demonic hatred of an old rot.

The essential poverty of discourse on ethics lies here. A lack of creative will. A lack of genuine peace-making. The solution I see is to abandon dichotomies of old/new and go forward a different way.

Confucianism. Very stupidly this family of cultural developments and discourses is unstudied as it should be. No, Confucianism, Daoism, and rival/more minor thoughts are relegated to Orientalist ghettoes. The Academic Shit-heads with all their morality and white-guilt in their utter disgusting inertia have not even abandoned Orientalism.

We must move to a point where we acknowlege ourselves as Human, as a species that arose at a certain point that have a common claim, common needs, and a common destiny. We have to abandon cultural jealousy and come to a view that we have to take all Ethical discourses into our fields. We should cease a fetishism on Plato and Aristotle and examine Confucious and Mencius. Stop the fixation on Paul of Tarsus' ethical commandments and listen to Laozi's calm advisings.

I only mentioned Chinese thought. Of course all human ethical history and experience must be integrated, but here I choose China to illustrate a crucial point. For the longest time Chinese civilization, the Chinese Dao was far superior to all world civilizations in objective criteria, and certainly far above the Western civilization and Logos. It is imperative to truly come to understand and be able to integrate Confucian thought without apologies, without overvaluations or dismissal, without ghettoization.

What I love about Confucianism is the emphasis on Relationships. We have reached the point that we understand how limiting individual atomism is. Confucianism offered an effective way of action and thought that guided a coherent civilization through many long ages. It was certainly strengthened by contact with other ways (dao) as well. The point is- Confucian-thought was organic in a way Western Ethic discourse systems manifestly failed. Confucious emphasized continuity- action being guided through history. The importance of rites and of imitation. Yes! Do you here friend- Confucious spoke of how an ordered society is best ordered by Ritual, Play, and Performance- Something only the Postmodernists have articulated within narrowly Western Discourse.

Cosmopolitan humanism is already happening, there are signallings for it in many nooks. But it has to happen faster! We have to stop over-praising and shitting-on the right course for a possibly plausible ethical system that may guide humanity collectively to a "Good Death" has to be founded on the whole of humanity's experience. Integrate, Integrate, Integrate... Organic Thinking.... Hybrid Vigor... Tolerance toward the gooey...

This we must do to survive, and do so in style.

If drowned in a sorrow of nihilistic guilt, of hopelessness, of an ever present shout of "all is vanity! there is a season for everything!" One salvation comes and that is work. Work for work's sake, production simply for the action of producing it and a non-consideration of effect. Or better phrased: not taking effect seriously.
The season I am in now is one of a sailing over an abyss, of sitting calmly on a rope stretched between two distant cliffs. The rope is not creaking fast it still has some stability in it, so I stay. But I know I have to cross soon.
Well not exactly a rope, maybe a bridge? Yes that's what it is. I suppose it is one of those rope bridges over the Andes. God! I really have to get to Peru sometime, see the Inca Empire amid the mountains. An Empire great in its adaptation to a Holy and Sublime environment. A State with a God Emperor who made all his subjects Gods themselves.
Ah! What am I doing, historical romanticism is way out of form. we don't use capital letters anymore. we don't take a few facts and then overelaborate a whole verbose paen. no! this is the age of the sacred meh...
There is sense in that perhaps, in a smallness, an epicureanism true to the ideals of its founder. No sense in me protesting much.

Peculiar liberty- this is a rather interesting production to contemplate, what I am writing now. It is very much like writing notes underground on a sheet of paper, except this is potentially accesible to over a billion other ego subject-positions. So it is a more effective way maybe of combating the rodent-insect syndrome that our urban hermits suffer from. Or maybe not?
Treefingers by Radiohead- that piece evokes a feeling toward the cosmic and the ancient. I'm in a womb, a space filled with void. Very cosmic- something blinking. Yes, the evocation of a mysterious space and time, a category of imagination, an empty-fullness.
Happiness for me, in many moments all I feel that I need, is a capacity to appreciate beautiful works of others and of God. To be immersed in oceans of sublimity of artistic inspirations that delve into my consciousness. An ever-present, immanent Synthaesia that dispels all doubt and all movement from pleasure/non-pleasure.
But then it is all the better to fight the futile battle against entropy of a pleasurable state with the weapon of production. The cruelest punishment would be to be deprived of creativity, of course that might well be an inconceivable state. But it is true to say that the capacity to produce is the consolation of consolations.
Turn on the Bright Lights! You make the dark even more intense.

The Events now: International Divide over Kosovo, the Retirement of Castro, the looming hope of Barrack Obama

Times are getting more interesting. I am really interested what will happen with Barrack Obama, I know I am casting my vote for him in the Ohio Primary. It is looking very likely he may be President. Many people more intelligent, observant, and erudite than myself have written about him so I'll only add that I really want to wait and see what will happen this election.

Castro's exist is largerly symbolic, perhaps even a moot point. Still it is the passing of an era. This is the last 20th Century figure on the world stage. Where will Cuba go from here?

Kosovo- US supports it, Russia and China nay it. Interestingly this state of affairs is a veritible repetion of the late 19th early 20th Century squabbles that set the tinderbox that ignited the Great War. Alliances and interests are not very clear yet, but one thing seems pretty strongly supported, that the Liberal Capitalist Consensus is starting to crack and split up.

Change may well be afoot, but nothing is guarenteed. I am heartened that there is a good deal of historical baggage being overcome, but there can be yet more messes, and further sinkings into stupidity and inhumanity. Where will we go?

The international squabling over Kosovo is something I am obligated to think about. I'm a world citizen, but I'm also of Serbian heritage.

Yea, I'm half Serbian and half Polish, both parents born in their respective countries. At this point though my national feelings come to this- I am an ardent Internationalist, I am largerly shaped by American culture, but I have strong sympathies and spiritual connections to both my Serbian and Polish side.

That said I'll begin with a quote I remember that some German aristocrat said after she was dispossesd from her home by the Red Army: The greatest love is love without possesing. That's an important point, and I wished more people would consider it. I wish more people would internalize it when it comes to their identities- love without possesion.

There is a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding about the Balkans even among quite educated Westerners. The American media has portrayed the Serbs as the bad guys, as the sole provokers of woe. I am not denying that Serbs did not comit crimes against humanity, but the truth is so did just about every other major ethnic group that intended to establish or expand its own state-hood in the Balkans and that made up Yugoslavia (Albanians, Bosniaks, Croats). No one has heard about the Jansenovic extermination camp which is surpassed only by Nazi Death-camps in occcupied Poland as a certain for genocide. It was primarily a site where Croats and their German masters murdered Serbs and the few Jews that lived in that region, as well as other undesirables.

I won't go into history anymore because it is needlessly complicated and will take forever. I needed to illustrate Jansenovic to make certain points clear but it has to be clarified, I am not at all interested in a "caluculus of national culpablitity".

There can only be one solution in the end, the abolition of nationalism. As much as I have vestigal feelings of treachery, I have to support the Kosovars in their efforts, they are the majority there now and they simply want to establish a representative Republic that reflects their needs and ensures their prosperity. Thinking about it now- I strongly support all seperatist movements around the world. I support the existence of a Basque state, of Independent Quebec, the dissolution of China, South Ossetia and Abkhazia splitting from Georgia. Yes even the break-up of the United States (gasp!).

It seems contradictory that in being an internationalist I support the actions mentioned above. I iterate that I support seccesionism in so far as it weakens the State as constituted in its current hold-over feuadal, Bourgeoise, and Fascistic forms. I envision a breaking up of a coercive state forcing laws and cultures on non-consenting citizens. The State as currently constituted is a bastardized form born out of coercion. In replacement the hope I hold out is replacing unitary idealogies with associations, with a human simblinghood. Where ones Motherland is the whole Earth and borders are abolished. Where we will do with our distorte ideology by which we still make maps and deform our understanding of what Planet Earth is.

Lets be aware of history, but lets not identify it, lets not bring the rotten stench of the dead back to life. Yes this and that people commited genocide, lets move beyond after we learn and mourn.

Free associations have to replace coercive states at one point or another for Humanity to survive. It is a difficult road, but best done with securing and edifying each cultural groups dignity. Only then can we make the world a true commonwealth of individuals, a non-monetary and non-exploitive marketplace of sheer creativity. It is a difficult road but at least the enemy is known- Centralized Coercion.